I remember the first time I walked into a yoga studio. I thought to myself, “you are ready Darci…” When they asked how long I had been practicing for, I panicked and lied, said I had been practicing for 3 years. Hahahahah, looking back I have to wonder why I felt the need to lie. I guess I really didn’t want to stand out.
And boy did I stand out! As soon as they called pincha-prep, I laughed, what the heck is Pincha-what? Seventy-five minutes later, after a long wave of not being able to keep up with anything, sweat pouring all over the place and not knowing how to breathe, they left me in this pose they called, “Dead man’s pose”. Was this where I was suppose to die? Haha. Seriously though. I had been practicing for 3 years at this point, so there was no way I was going to just look around and see what everyone else was doing. So I stretched my arms overhead pretending to get one last twist in, I looked around the room to see what everyone else was doing. Okay, they are lying down I thought to myself. I can do that. So I did just that… then I awkwardly looked around waiting for what wild pose we were going to do next.
The teacher’s voice was so soothing. It made me wonder if that is part of their training, hypnotizing students into a lull. Whatever it was that she was doing, it worked. I started to drift in and out of a very familiar place. The same place I lie in each morning when I first wake and I’m still sleepy, it’s still quiet, and I have a couple more minutes before the busy-ness of my day begins. I liked being there. I stayed until the last person left, and the teacher poked her head in to see if I was alright. I was instantly hooked. It didn’t matter to me that I couldn’t figure out the poses, or the names of the poses, or that everybody wore all these funky-weird clothing that I just couldn’t afford. All I wanted was those moments after class when it was quiet and nothing in the world mattered but what was going on in my head.
I was too proud to talk to a counsellor but it felt like my life was slowly spiralling out of control. But in those sweet, sweet moments of savasana, I could think clearly.
And there was a lot going on my in head. My brother had passed away about about 5 years prior and nothing in my life added up. My partner and I had separated and I was now a single mother, a new business owner, in and out of school with a lot of bills and my life was all over the place. I was too proud to talk to a counsellor but it felt like my life was slowly spiralling out of control. But in those sweet, sweet moments of savasana, I could think clearly. I could figure out in my head how to process, what felt like the most intense emotions any one person could feel.
And in those moments, day-by-day, practice-by-practice, I continued to show up for myself. And in those moments, I started to gather my life again and in those moments, I created the stability that my mental health needed, my son needed, my career and my future needed.
It doesn’t matter if you’ve never done yoga, we all have something we are working through. Whether it’s the last 10 lbs, the last 100 lbs, a death, a bad break-up, stress, or you’re just in need of a good workout – find your way on to a yoga mat and see what it is that you can learn about yourself. 2016 is yours for the taking and I’m telling you, don’t waste another day thinking about whether or not you should practice yoga. If you keep thinking about it, now’s your time! Even if you have to lie to feel comfortable enough to walk in the front door, you are ready, you are soooo ready! #youRready
Darci is an avid student and teacher who feels that yoga doesn’t stop once you get off your mat. It’s a lifestyle, a way of living, and a way of taking care of those around you. With an unwavering attention to detail and an innate curiosity about the human body, Darci is a dedicated student of the Moksha Yoga community, working with Moksha International during the day and a teacher by night. Raised in a flow based community, Darci has studied Moksha, Moksha Flow, and Moksha Level Two under the guidance of Angela Zawada and the greater Moksha Yoga faculty. She is humbled by each student and teacher’s open arms in welcoming her into the sangha (community).